I don't want to be alone
by glowing wolf
Summary: Anna and Luke are beneficial friends but what happens when Anna meets Christian and he takes a liking to her read to find out please no hate
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Anna pov.

I groan and pull the covers over my head when I hear my alarm going off, it's 6am and I have to start getting ready for work. I reach over to my night stand and switch the alarm off making the room go quiet, I sigh and stare up at the ceiling trying to find the will to get out of bed. I shouldn't have stayed up so late but I couldn't help it, I learned last night how hard it is to resist a guy when they're kissing your neck. I should explain I'm not in an official relationship but I have a beneficial friendship with my best friend Luke Sawyer, we act like any other best friends do with each other except at the end of the night we sometimes have sex. Let me take you back to the beginning of the year to show you how it all started.

Flashback to new ears eve.

I look in my mirror to make sure my makeup looks okay then I go I lock my apartment up and head downstairs where Luke is waiting for me, we're meeting our other friends Kate and Jose at a pub to celebrate new years eve together. I walk up to him smiling and give him a hug in greeting, when we pull away he looks at what I'm wearing.

"Damn Anna you're going to get someone's attention tonight in that dress" He says.

"I hope so I'm ready to move on after my last breakup and I'm getting lonely" I say.

"Yeah I feel you Steel I feel you" He says.

He opens the car door for me and I get inside the passenger seat, he shuts the door and goes round to the drivers side. I adjust the skirt of my plumb dress because it's hitched up a bit when I got in, I'm wearing killer black heels with my hair loose and wavy. Luke starts the car and pulling out of the parking space joins the traffic, I scan the busy streets of Seattle to pass the time as we drive. We arrive at the bar a few minutes later and head inside after parking, we find Kate and Jose at a table and sit down with them to order some drinks. Kate and I both decide on some strawberry cocktails while the boys go for beer, they tell us to stay at the table while they go to the bar to order.

"So Anna how are you feeling now after the breakup" Kate asks.

"I feel a lot better a little lonely still but I think that's because I'm ready to start dating again but haven't really seen anyone of interest" I explain.

"It'll happen sweetie just give it time" She says.

I agree with her thankful that she hasn't seen through my little white lie, the truth is I'm lonely and would like to date again but I'm also scared of being hurt and left again so I'm dragging my heels a bit. The boys come back to the table with our drinks and sit down beside us, I take a grateful sip ready to let the alcohol make me forgot at least until tomorrow. We talk and banter as we order round after round of drinks, it's not long before I start to feel buzzed and my worries slip away from my mind. To keep ourselves a little more entertained until 12pm comes we decide to have a couple games of pool, our first match is girls against boys and we win because when the black is the last ball Jose misses giving me the opportunity to sink it. For the next game it's me and Jose against Kate and Luke then after that me and Luke against Kate and Jose, after that third game it's getting close to the 12pm countdown so we return to our table with a new round of drinks.

Kate and I are still drinking the strawberries cocktails because we both know better than to mix our drinks, we tried it once on a college night out and we both spent the next day in pyjamas huddled on her couch together making Netflix our new best friend. We talk about old times in school and college and the fun but reckless mistakes we used to make, after a few more minutes it's 11,59pm so we all start counting down from 10 until the clock strikes 12 and then we all yell happy new year. We hug each other tightly and wish each other well for the year to come, it feels good to celebrate with friends but our heads are feeling very fuzzy so after one more round we all head home.

Sawyer and Kate make sure their cars are locked up and we all order a cab to share since they're both to drunk to drive us home, the fresh air has only made us worse and we're sitting on a small brick wall outside the pub in stitches of laughter. We start trying to think of stupid dares to give each other while we wait but thankfully the cab saves us from ourselves and shows up before we can do any of them, the four of us climb in and he starts driving towards Kate's apartment first and when we arrive we wave goodbye as she climbs out then disappears inside. Next to be dropped off is Jose and we laugh at him as he stumbles his way inside almost falling over several times, now as the cab starts driving again it's just me and Luke.

"Do you want to come in and crash on the couch I don't really feel like being alone since it's been such a fun night" I say.

"Yeah sure" He says.

We smile at each and then fall silent as a weird tension builds between us, that's never happened before we're usually fine with each other. After a few moments of quietness I'm just about to ask if he's okay when he places his hand on my thigh, I'm shocked as a thrill goes through me and I realise I like his touch on my skin. So when he slides his hand further up taking my skirt with him and obviously heading straight for my panties instead of refusing I sit back and open my legs, he reaches his goal and cups me through my panties which are already wet for him. I bite my lip as he circles his thumb over my clit, then he slides his hand inside my panties and his finger enters me.

He pumps his fingers in and out of me while I struggle to contain my moans and put my own hand on his crotch, I can feel his hardness through his pants so I start to rub making him bite his lip too. I unzip his pants and take his member out stroking it roughly so he's struggling not to moan, the cab slows to a stop and I realise it's because we're at my place. We quickly fix ourselves and Luke pays the fee as we climb out, completely overcome by desire I quickly unlock the door and lead him straight the bedroom. I push him down onto the bed and we makeout as we make short work of each others clothes.

I kiss my way down his chest and take his member into my mouth starting to roughly suck on it, he moans loudly and grips my hair as I suck on him until he cums. Then I straddle him and ease myself onto his member moaning loudly to, I ride him picking up the pace until we're both panting and moaning with pure pleasure. I run my nails up and down his chest as he grips my hips, I ride him faster and faster until eventually I throw my head back and cum feeling him cum too. I collapse onto his chest and we fall asleep like that.

Back to present.

At first things were naturally awkward and we avoided each other, we couldn't explain why we didn't have feelings for each other but still wanted to fuck every time we saw each other after that night. Eventually we decided to be adults about it and sat down and talked, that's how we discovered that our sexual attraction to each other was coming from loneliness and we agreed to be friends with benefits until we found proper relationships. It worked out better than we thought because we feel like it's brought us closer together, Kate and Jose don't know about it we agreed they wouldn't in case they didn't understand.

I'm still staring at my bedroom ceiling so with one more sigh I force myself out of bed and into the shower, I work at grey publishing as an editor which is my dream job. I started off as an assistant and worked my way up, even though the company is owned by Christian Grey I've never actually met him before. He never comes into the office just conference calls with my bosses to check in, I dress in a white button up shirt, black tights, black skirt and black heels. After applying some makeup and having a piece of fruit for breakfast I'm out the door.

My boss is out of town for the weekend so he's video calling me today to check how the latest authors are getting on, we arranged to call while I'm on my lunch break so it doesn't disturb my meetings or schedule. When I sit down in my office and boot up my laptop I discover a ton of emails that I have to go through, I sigh heavily and get started on them reading carefully and replying to as many as I can. Time passes quickly and soon it's lunch time so I open the small box of sandwiches I brought with me, my boss calls and I talk him through the things that have happened and have been arranged since he's been gone.

Movement at the door catches my eye and I look up to see Luke enter, I forgot to tell him about the call so he must have wanted to have lunch with me. I give him an apologetic look and hold up my finger asking for a minute, he nods and stays quiet so I turn my attention back to my boss not noticing him closing the blinds to my office so no one can see in. I raise a brow at him when he gets on the floor and crawls under my desk, I have to stop my eyes from widening as I feel him slide my tights and panties down. _Please tell me he's not about to do what I think he is. _He proves me wrong by pressing his tongue into my wet folds making me fight to suppress my moans, I know I should slyly push him off but I just can't resist. I spread my legs slowly so my boss doesn't notice giving him full access of my clit and entrance, he runs his tongue from my entrance to my clit and back again over and over. I grip his hair under the table to keep him there and try to talk as normal as I can to my boss, thankfully he decides to end the call due to other things needing done.

I say goodbye and as soon as he's gone I sit back spread my legs as wide as they'll go and surrender to the pleasure of Luke's tongue which he has now pushed inside me, I moan lowly and unbutton my shirt and bra. I rub my breasts adding to the pleasure at my nipples harden, I moan his name and cum on his tongue panting heavily. While I catch my breath he stands up takes his member out and slams into me, I bite my lip to stop from screaming in pleasure as he starts to pound into me. We pant and moan quietly as we fuck in my desk chair with everyone working outside oblivious, he slams into me roughly makes us both cum hard. I throw my head back as the pleasure waves over me, in this moment I can't help but think maybe I won't get another man who's better than Luke but I was about to be proved wrong sooner than I thought.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Anna pov a few days later.

I let the warm water of the shower run down my body as I have my eyes closed, I shiver as I feel Luke's hands on my body. His hands caress my breasts making my breasts causing me to arch my back then he starts pinching my nipples, I moan and bite my lip with the pleasure feeling my folds getting wet. He releases them and moves his hands down my stomach until his hand goes between my legs to my clit, he starts to tease it earning more moans from me as I get wetter then he moves down to my folds and slides a finger inside.

I cry out in pleasure as he pumps his fingers in and out of me making my knees go weak, He suddenly stops and pulls his fingers out then he grabs my hips and bends me over. I bite my lip with excitement as I feel the tip of his member on my folds, I scream in pleasure as he slams into me and continues to pound in and out. I put my hands on the wall to steady myself as I moan loudly, I can hear him moaning behind me as my walls grip his hardness it's not long before I feel myself building. We cum at the same time and he slams in one last time making my legs shake, we catch our breath for a minute then he helps me stand upright and makes sure I'm steady before letting go of me.

We quickly wash ourselves then get out to get dressed for work, Luke recently got a new job that he's starting today. He normally does temporary security jobs but now he's been hired by someone to be a member of their security team permanently, he's not allowed to tell me who it is but he's been given permission for me to go and stay overnight with him as long as I don't leave the staff quarter since the job requires him to move in. I'm going to the address tonight after work to see him I'm going to miss our little naughty lunch meetings but he won't be able to leave to come see me, Once he's dressed he kisses my head goodbye and heads out the door.

It only takes me another few minutes and then I'm out the door and driving to my work, as I drive my mind strays to Luke and how hot he looked in his security suit. Even though I was just with him thoughts of him in his suit make me wet and excited again, shit I can't see him until tonight this is going to drive me crazy all day. I arrive at work feeling flustered, frustrated and uncomfortable, my folds are now soaking and begging to be touched. I try to calm myself down as I walk into the building and head up to my office, my boss meets me at the door.

"Hello sir good to see back" I say greet him.

"Morning Ana I'm pretty busy catching up on things so I just wanted to let you know that the owner of the company is stopping by to check on things" He explains.

"Will he be needing to see me" I ask.

"Yes because you are acting Editor he would like you to him the latest authors and the work they're doing right now" He says.

"Okay I'll be in my office when he arrives" I say.

"I'll alert your assistant to bring him in he'll be here just after lunch" He says.

"Thank you sir will that be all" I ask.

"Yes have a good Miss Steele" He says and walks away.

I enter my office and closing the door for privacy slump down on the chair behind my desk, shit the owner of the company is coming to have a meeting with me and I'm a wet horny mess. I shiver as I accidentally rub against the chair and a bolt of pleasure goes through me, I can't stay like this I'll need to do something. I quickly check my schedule and see I don't have any other meetings except for the owner which isn't until after lunch, so I stand up and go to the couch against the wall where I pull my skirt up, slide my panties off and sit down with my legs spread on it.

Being careful to keep quiet I slide my fingers into my wet folds and bite my lip, I imagine Luke below me in his suit pressing his tongue into me and allow a low moan to escape. Since I'm in my office I pump my fingers in and out quickly so I start building, but just before I can cum and feel that sweet relief a loud knock sounds on the door. I stop and quickly fix myself putting my panties back on before answering the door, the copper haired, grey eyed beauty in front of me introduces himself as Christian Grey the owner of the company. Shit.

Christian pov.

I arrived at my office in grey enterprises and sit down behind my desk, I have a morning meeting here then I'm going to grey publishing which I just bought to check on things. I fired the acting editor Jack Hyde because I looked into him and his record wasn't clean, as far they've replaced with his assistant but I haven't met or looked into them yet. I arranged a meeting with them today at lunch time so I can see what authors they're taking on and working with, I start preparing for my meeting coming in a minute.

The intercom buzzes and I answer it to here Andrea inform the meeting has been cancelled because they can't make it, I thank her and sit back in my chair with a sigh since my schedule is now cleared for the morning. Fuck it I'll go to Grey publishing now and reply to emails when I get back, gets off the chair and heads back downstairs telling Andrea the plan as I go.

"Taylor Sawyer to Grey publishing please" I say as I get in the car.

"Yes sir" Taylor says and starts the engine.

He drives me to the building and parks outside, I nod my head and get out the car heading in and up the elevator. I enter the long corridor and a girl comes up to me.

"Good morning Mr Grey we weren't expecting you until this afternoon, Miss Steel's office is at the top of the room" She says and leads me up.

"Thank you Miss I can take it from here" I say.

"Yes Mr Grey" She says and goes back to her desk.

I knock on the door and I'm sure I hear a low moan on the other side but I can't be positive, Miss Steele however gives me the answer when she opens the door with a flustered face and she's fidgeting. Oh Miss Steele busted you were touching yourself in your office, I look her up and down and I can't hold it against her because she's beautiful with long brown wavy hair to her breasts and bright blue eyes just my type.

"Miss Steele is it I'm Mr Grey the owner of Grey publishing may I come in" I ask.

"Yes sir of course" She opens the door and I sit down in the chair opposite her desk while she sits behind it.

"Mr grey it's a pleasure to meet you I'm sure you'll be impressed with the authors we have taken on the past few weeks and their work" She says getting straight to business.

She grabs some manuscripts from her desks and shows me them all giving me information on each author as I read through each of their manuscripts and I must say I am impressed, for someone who was just an assistant a few weeks ago Miss Steele has certainly stepped up and proved she can handle this job.

"Well Miss Steele I must say I'm very impressed you seem to have everything under control and these authors have some real potential here" I say.

"Thank you Mr Grey I thought so to, it took some convincing from the board but I managed" She says.

"Well I'm glad you did and I'll be making sure they don't question your decisions I can tell you have good instincts" I say.

She's blushing and squirming under the heat of my gaze and probably from her interrupted activity, Oh Miss Steele how I would like to bend you over that desk and relieve that little problem for you. I keep my thoughts to myself however need to be professional of course, I let my eyes wander her god she's something.

She talks me through the rest of the things that they've been doing here and even in her flustered state she manages to remain professional which surprises me again, I have no doubt she's the right person for the job. She's also the right person for me to bend over this desk and bury myself but I'm trying not to think about that right now, we finish the meeting and I thank her for seeing me even though I arrived a little early. I leave the building and have Taylor drive me back to Grey house.

"Sawyer what time is your partner arriving tonight so I know to be in my office by the time she gets there" I ask him.

"She'll be coming over after work sir she'll probably be here for about half 5 she finishes at 4" He says.

"Does she have the garage and elevator code" I ask.

"Yes sir gave it to her this morning sir" He says.

"And you're remembering to explain that she'll need to sign a non disclosure agreement so she can't tell anyone who you're working for" I say.

"Yes of course sir Ana would never tell anyone but if it gives you piece of mind for when she finds out who you are then of course I'll get her to sign it tonight when she comes" He says.

"Good thank you Sawyer and thank you for bringing me back to the office boys I'll see you in a few hours when it's time to go home again" I say and getting out the car head upstairs to my office.

I spend the rest of the day answering emails and making phone calls to people I'm going into business with and I also call my business partner Ros to let her know the publishing company is in good hands, after doing all that I still have an hour or so left before finish just enough time to order a background check on little Miss Steele just to double check she's clear. I phone my guy and he agrees to send it to me, within a few minutes I'm reading all about her and I see her full name is Anastasia Rose Steel didn't Sawyer say his partner was called Ana. That must be a coincidence surely.

I print the document off and put it in my brief case and head out, I say goodnight to Andrea as she packs up to leave as well then head down to the car where Sawyer and Taylor await me. I get in the back and we head for home arriving not long before Ana is due here, I head straight into my office because I don't want her knowing who Sawyer works for before she signs the agreement.

I end up spending most of the night in my office doing work because we're making a big deal with a shipping company and it includes a lot of paper work, by the time I look up from the clock it's now late at night and my throat feels dry. I get up from my desk and head to the kitchen but stop in the doorway, at the kitchen island I see the acting editor of my publishing house walk in through the staff quarter door wearing a shirt wide open and nothing underneath. Her glorious tits are fully exposed and god are they a sight, I can also just make out some short neatly trimmed curls concealing her clit and folds.

I'm surprised when I feel a pang of jealousy that Sawyer has gotten to taste and pound into those sweet wet folds, she searches the cupboards for a glass and I remember the naughty activities she was doing inside her office when I knocked the door. I go up behind her and placing my palms on her ass roughly massage it, she moans lowly and I guess she thinks it's Sawyer behind her so I spin her round to show her it isn't.

"Mr Grey I'm sorry I thought I was still in the staff quarters" She gasps and stammers.

"It's okay Ana and might I say this is a much better look for you than your office clothes" I say.

She bites her lip as I run my hand up her stomach to her breasts and start to knead them, she looks at me shocked but doesn't stop me.

"I know what you were doing in your office when I arrived Ana you were touching yourself weren't you" I say and pinch her nipples making her breathing quicken to stop her moans.

"How did you know" She gasps out.

"I heard you moan through the door tell me did you manage to get the sweet relief you were craving" I ask.

"No I was waiting to see Sawyer when I got here but he fell asleep before I could" She says still trying not to moan.

"Well now that must mean these folds of yours are still wet and in some need of attention" I say and quickly lift her onto the kitchen counter.

I can tell by her face that the anticipation, the thrill and being turned on for so long without relief are making it impossible for her to say no. She wants this just as much as I do so I slide my hands up her legs to her sweet folds, I dip my finger in earning a moan from her and she spreads her legs wider not being able to resist the pleasure her body has been craving.

I move my finger in and out of her wet entrance slowly teasing her until she's going crazy then I take my finger out and leaning down bury my tongue inside her tasting her sweet nectar, she moans, pants and grips onto my hair in pleasure. I keep circling my tongue around inside her until she cums and I feel more of her sweet nectar on my tongue, I swirl my tongue around a few more times to keep tasting her sweetness then I stop and stand up. She's breathing heavily and looks more comfortable.

"Feel better now we have some relief" I ask her.

"Yes Mr Grey" She says panting.

I go to speak again hoping to move on to me getting inside her when Sawyer calls her name from the staff quarters, she quickly jumps up and scampers through the staff door leaving me in my apartment alone. I'm sure I'll see the little Miss Steele again hopefully next time I'll get my member inside those folds, I go back to my office and work the rest of the night.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_**A/N: Hey guys so a quick authors note to ask you all to give this chapter a chance I went back and deleted the first version and have now made this new one that is sex free I'm going to have Anna's fear be shown by getting depressed and emotional instead I know a lot of you think I ruined the story with the other chapter but please give me a second chance and read this new version thank you all for reading and also who's hear from my first book torn between two fifties.**_

Anna pov.

It's been a couple of weeks since I visited Luke at Escala and discovered that his boss is also the owner of the company I work for and the man that I desperately want to fuck, it took all my willpower not to let him bend me over that night in his kitchen. I'm scared to go back and run into him again in case this time I can't stop myself, it's too risky I could effect my job, Luke's job or maybe both our jobs. I need to find a way to avoid Mr Grey but still visit Luke and have some much needed fun with him, maybe if I surprise him by already being there before they get home then Mr Grey won't know I'm there.

I rush to finish the rest of my work which is really just answering emails again then I clear up and head to my apartment, I quickly gather everything I'll need for the weekend and hop in my car driving towards Escala. When I arrive I punch in the codes needed and head straight for the staff quarters where Luke's bedroom is, I smirk happy with my plan as I strip off my work clothes and put red lacy lingerie on with garter straps. I put a red robe on but leave it open and lay down on the bed waiting for Luke to come in, as I wait longer and longer I slowly start to go crazy with anticipation. A knock on the bedroom door makes me frown because why would Luke knock on his own door, I call to come in and Taylor the other security guy comes in he quickly covers his eyes.

"Miss Steele I'm so sorry I just wanted to say that if you're here for Luke he's in Portland with Mr Grey I was allowed to stay behind because my daughter is sick and I need to be nearby in case she gets worse" He says.

"It's okay Taylor thank you for telling me when will they be back" I ask quickly covering myself.

"Not till the early hours of Monday morning Miss" He says.

"Oh okay I'll just go home then can you tell him to call me when he comes back" I ask.

"Of course I'll leave you to your privacy I'm in the security room if you need me" He says and backs out the room.

I sit down on the bed sighing in frustration because I'm soaking wet with no one to give me relief, I seem to be in this situation a lot recently what's wrong with me. I start to gather my work clothes off the floor and lay them on the bed, next I grab the weekend bag that I brought and start to rifle through it for clean clothes and also different underwear. I move quickly trying not to think about what just happened because I can already feel the tears burning my eyes, a mixture of humiliation and loneliness taking over me. I finally find what I'm looking for and quickly strip the lacy red underwear from my body swapping it for a plain white bra and plain white panties, then I pull on some jeans, a white t-shirt and black pumps.

Now that I'm dressed and ready to leave I realise that I might run into Taylor into again and I can't even look him in the eye after that, I can't believe he saw me half naked I hope he doesn't get fired for that. Maybe if we just be adults about this and talk about it we can be okay it was an accident and those can happen to anyone, with a heavy sigh I grab my bag and decide to pop my head into the security room before I go to sort things out and kill the awkwardness.

"Hi Taylor can I come in" I ask opening the door.

"Of course Ana do you need anything" He asks.

"No I'm okay I just wanted to thank you for letting me know about Sawyer and that I'm heading off home now" I say.

"Of course Ana but if you want to still surprise him you can come over on Sunday complete privacy guaranteed" He says.

"Thanks Taylor but I have work on Monday so early night on Sunday for me if you could tell him to text me on Monday morning and if you hear from him over the weekend tell him I said to have a safe trip" I ask.

"Of course Miss Steele" He says trying to bring the professionalism back.

"It's Okay Taylor you can call me Anna and also I just wanted to say sorry for the indecent exposure back there" I say in a joking way to keep it light.

"It's alright Anna I should've waited for a response not doing so defeats the purpose of knocking" He says and chuckling.

"True but accidents happen and I just wanted to clear the air and let you know it's okay" I say giving him a reassuring smile.

"Thank you Anna that means a lot, I will pass your hello onto Luke when I hear from him" He says.

I thank him then after saying goodbye head to the elevator and press the garage button, I almost hated saying goodbye because his friendliness distracted me for a minute and he seemed really nice to talk to. I exit the elevator when it opens and hopping in my car drive to my apartment the business of the roads are another perfect distraction and I forget about the emptiness for a minute, for a few minutes I even felt happy and sang along to the CD I had playing. But all things must come to an end and as soon as I open my apartment door my heart and stomach sink seeing how empty and hearing how quiet it is, I head to my bedroom and unpack the weekend putting everything away to distract myself.

Unpacking the bag makes me think of Luke which also reminds me of why I went over to Christian's in the first place and that familiar wetness returns, I go into my drawer and grab my vibrator while I strip my clothes off. Laying down on the bed I use the vibrator to give myself some sweet relief and yes another distraction, however it makes things worse because as I come down from my high panting I roll over instinctively to snuggle and realise there's no one beside me I'm alone. Hot tears pool in my eyes and I can't stop this time the dam breaks and I sob into my pillow, I end up crying myself to sleep and when I wake up the next day a feeling of depression washes over me. My ex leaving me has really broken me and instead of letting myself feel the pain I threw myself into work then sex with Sawyer thus creating my fear of being alone, I feel like everyone will leave me and never come back just like he did.

Since I'm letting my emotions get the better of me I don't eat any main meals or leave the house all Saturday and Sunday, I lay in my bed watching Netflix TV shows and eating pint after pint of ice cream I'm actually pretty sure Ice cream and Netflix are becoming my only friends. I really need Luke to come back now, I cry myself to sleep on those too nights as well, will I ever get through this never ending pain.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Sawyer pov (Friday morning).

I'm sitting in my bedroom in the staff section of Mr Greys apartment, I've finally got a rare moment to myself except when it's bedtime of course. Working for Christian Grey is a busy job wherever he goes we go but that's part and parcel of being a security detail, today he has been reading emails in his office so Taylor and I just have to take it in turns watching the security monitor. I've worked for Christian for a couple of weeks now and being so busy means I haven't seen Anna since the first night she came here to spend the night with me, I've just been so busy that all she would be doing is sitting here waiting for me to come home and would probably be to tired to do anything. It's been good though because in the rare moments like these where I'm free I've had time to think things over, I've thought a lot about our friendship and have come to realise that the slip on new years should have stayed like that and not escalated.

We're best friends and we shouldn't be having sex don't get me wrong it's amazing and it takes away the pain but that's the problem we shouldn't be using each other as pain relief, we need to put the past behind us and move on with new relationships and be friends to each other. It's time to get back on the horse before we destroy our lives and lose the strong bond we have, so I've decided to sign up to a dating app on my phone and I plan to ask Mr Grey for a day or two off so I can discuss this with Ana. My phone pings and it's a message on the app, I signed up to it last night and got a couple of likes but no matches or messages.

I grab my phone and open up the screen so I can log in, after typing in my details and hitting the button it takes me onto my profile where a notification waits in the private mail box. I click on it and open the message to see who it's from, it's from a girl called Jodie and the app tells me that she's a match to my profile because we have similar interests and hobbies. Since the app has matched us together I read her message and reply.

J: Hi there I'm Jodie the app matched us to together so I thought I would give you a message to get to know each other.

I read it once then I read it again pondering what to say back, she seems friendly and interested in getting to know me so why not give it a try and see what happens. Taking a deep breath I click the text box and type out a reply.

L: Hello I'm Luke thank you for messaging me I would love for us to talk and get to know each other.

I read through it twice just to make sure it makes sense and autocorrect hasn't messed with it then I hit send, there we go first step to dating taken now we just go with the flow and hope for the best. The sound of knocking on my door startles me from the screen and putting my phone down I grant the person entrance, it's Taylor who walks in and he has some news for me.

"Luke I'm afraid your rest is over Mr Grey has received an email about business in Portland and he wants to fly down tonight you will join and guard him" He explains.

"You won't be joining us" I ask noticing he say you instead of us.

"Afraid not my ex wife called my daughter is sick and I need to be close in case it turns serious so I can be there for her but you can handle this on your own you're a good worker Luke and Christian trusts you as do I" He says.

"Thank you Jason I'll just put my suit back on and I'll be right there" I say.

"No rush you'll be gone for the weekend so Mr Grey is packing too" He informs me then leaves the room to give me privacy.

I stand from the bed and a fresh suit I head into the bathroom where I jump in for a brisk shower, the aroma of my shower gel fills the room as I wash myself then I step out of the cubicle and get dried off. After fixing my tie into place the last piece of my suit I grab a duffel back and fill it with toiletries and fold two more fresh suites into it, I also pack my iMac for emails to keep Jason informed and my kindle for the nights in the hotel.

I run through the list in my head to make sure I have everything I'll need and quickly add pyjama pants and charges for the Mac, kindle and also my iPhone. I'm ready to go so I grab the bag and head through the main apartment to the security room where Jason is sitting watching the monitor, he lifts his head to look at me as I walk in.

"Did Mr Grey mention the car we would be taking" I ask him.

"Yes he said to grab to grab the key to the R8 so it'll be a quicker and smoother ride" He says.

"Okay thanks I'll just take my bag down then come back up and wait in the foyer for Mr Grey" I say.

"Okay I'll see you Sunday Luke travel safe and take care of Mr Grey you know how stressed he gets" He says.

We both chuckle as I head to the cabinet in the living room where Christian keeps his car keys and also his upper floor keys since the bedrooms lock and grab the key to his Audi R8, I try to contain the happy teenager inside at the thoughts of being able to drive this car. I ride down to the garage in the elevator and when I step out I press the unlock button so the car lights up telling me where it's parked, I head over to it and lifting the trunk I put my back inside before closing it again and locking the car. I once again head back to the elevator so I can wait for Mr Grey in the foyer but when the elevator doors open I'm greeted by Taylor, I step out the elevator and greet him.

"Mr Grey will be down in a second it was just to remind you that when he's being driven he doesn't like going to fast he likes a responsible driver so take your time and go smooth and steady" He says.

"Yes right thank you for the reminder I've never driven him before" I say.

"You've seen the speed I go at just keep it at that and the car nice and smooth and you'll be fine Okay" He says.

"Okay I'm fully prepared for this" I say.

"Good luck Luke" He says and disappears back inside.

A few minutes later Mr Grey appears through the foyer door and greets me, I press the button to call the elevator since someone else in the building called it away while I was waiting. We step in when the doors open and I press the button for the garage and wait for us to be carried down, the doors open and I unlock the R8 again.

"Shall I put your bag in the trunk Mr Grey?" I ask.

"Yes Luke please" He says and hands me his duffel bag.

I open the trunk again and put his bag in beside mine while he gets in the back seat of the car, I close the trunk being careful not to let it slam and head to the drivers side door. I take a quiet but deep steadying breath as I get in behind the wheel and start the engine, it purrs softly to life like a kitten and I know straight away it's going to be a dream to drive but Taylor's reminder pops into my mind. _Remember Mr Grey likes responsible drivers so take it slow and smoothly. _I repeat those words in my mind as I gently pull out of the parking space making sure to keep an eye on my surroundings, I straighten the car up facing the garage door with no problems or a word from Mr Grey. _So far so good. _

I gently push down on the gas pedal and pull up in front of the garage door, I type in the code through the window to open it and it slides up revealing the bright daylight of Seattle. I take a moment to let my eyes adjust then gently move forward so I can see the traffic on the street, I wait patiently for both sides to calm and pull out onto the road. I check the speed limit sign as we pass it and and adjust my foot on the pedal so we're below the limit, the morning traffic is busy from people going to work so I take my time and follow along behind them in the direction of the airport. It takes a little longer than normal but I get us to the airport safely and I drive around to where Mr Greys private plane is kept and pull up a safe distance from it on the tarmac.

"We're here sir" I say to Mr Grey.

"Good and nice driving Sawyer I like someone who prefers safety over speed" He says.

"Of course Mr Grey my job is to keep you safe and that's what I'll do" I say.

He nods at me and gets out the car heading to the plane, I grab our bags from the trunk and lock the car. Approaching the plane I walk up the steps and aboard where the pilot and stewardesses are waiting, since we only have two duffel bags we're allowed to bring them aboard. Mr Grey tells me to put them in the bedroom in the back so they're out of the way for the journey, it's not a long journey to Portland so we sit down and belt up for take off.

A little while later we land in Portland and grabbing our bags walk off the plane, a rental car courtesy of Taylor awaits us on the tarmac. I hear Mr Grey point out that it's the newest Audi model and can hear the appreciation in his voice, I smile and wonder how long it'll be before one of these joins his collection. Once again I put the bags in the trunk while he climbs in the back seat and puts his belt on, I close the trunk and climb in behind the wheel putting my own belt on. I don't need to ask about the hotel because Taylor told me they use the same one every time The Heathman, I remember the directions Taylor took the first time we came here the first week I started. I retrace them to the hotel and park the car, we both get out and head inside with our bags to the desk so we can check in.

"Sawyer the first meeting is a conference call in my room to arrange a time and place for tomorrow so I won't be going anywhere tonight so you've got the rest of the night free" He says.

"Thank sir I'll be in my room if you need anything I'm right next door" I say.

"Luke I won't need anything I'm not leaving the room and no one can get in to me, take the night to relax go sit in the bar or go out somewhere else exploring enjoy your night off" He says.

"Yes sir thank you sir" I say.

We ride in the elevator together and head into our room saying good bye, it's only coming early afternoon so I use my credit card to order some lunch from room service. I go through my duffel bag and changing out of my suit put the t-shirt and jeans that I packed at the last minute just in case, I grab the iMac and send a quick email to Taylor.

To: Jason Taylor

From: Luke Sawyer

Subject: Portland

Hello Taylor it's Luke we arrived in Portland without a problem and the boss has gone to his room for the night to get ready for the first meeting which is via conference call, he has gave me the night off because he won't be leaving his room for the night.

I hit the send button and watch as the email disappears from the screen and most likely reappears on Taylors, I hear a knock on the door and answer it to find a hotel worker with my lunch order. I open the door wider and aside so they can well the cart in, I thank him and give him a tip from my wallet as he goes back out the door. I sit down at the small table and eat my lunch slowly thinking about Ana, how am I going to tell her that we can't be beneficial anymore that we have to go back to being just normal best friends, I myself might be ready to get back on the horse and search for a relationship but Ana still has damage in her heart from her last relationship one being a fear of being alone and I know she uses our benefits to help her with that fear. Speaking of relationships I pull my phone out to check the dating app and there's a message from Jodie, I reply back and for the next couple of minutes we message each other to and fro talking about our lives. Of course I don't mention who I work for because I'm not allowed, she says she lives in Portland but plans to move to Seattle soon. I tell her I'm in Portland with a friend and she asks if we can meet because she's not doing anything tonight, I think about it for a minute before asking her if she can come to the bar here and she agrees.

I can't help but feel a thrill of excitement go through me at the thoughts of going on a proper date with someone, I just hope she isn't some internet weirdo and is who she says she is. I quickly freshen up in the bathroom before grabbing my room key and heading down to the bar which is close to the entrance so I'll be able to see her, I sit at a two seated table and message her telling her where I am. I check the message a few minutes later to see it's been read but there's no reply, I look back at the door just in time to see her walk in. Well she looks exactly like her profile picture that's a really good start.

I stand up to shake her hand and greet her with a smile, I gesture for her to sit down opposite me and she does. A waitress comes and takes our drinks order then leaves us in private, now alone we start to talk about our lives again telling each other interesting details like were we grew up, our education. We have a lot in common and seem to really connect with each other, as it gets late on I take her back up to my room because she drove here and she's over the limit. We spend most of the night talking more on the couch, but suddenly she leans forward and kisses me on the lips. The alcohol makes me throw caution to the wind and I bed her, it's passionate and hot and we cum together collapsing in each others arms. I plan to talk to her about where we go from her but by the time I put the condom in the bin she's already asleep, I get in beside her and pulling her into my arms fall asleep as well.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Anna pov.

Finally Monday morning arrives and I wake up to a text from Luke, I sit up in bed and unlock my phone starting to read. The text explains for me to text him back when I'm awake and he'll call me as soon as he can, so I start typing out a reply saying good morning and I missed him over the weekend. A few minutes later my phone starts ringing and I answer it to be greeted by Luke's voice, I smile and greet him back.

"Hi Luke how was your weekend" I ask him.

"It was good Mr Grey gave me the Friday night off when we got there so that was nice" He says.

"Really that sounds nice what did you do with all that free time" I ask.

"Uhm I went down to the bar and had a couple of drinks listen do you want to come over for a bit Mr Grey is having a rest day before going into the office tomorrow so I've got some free time to talk" He says.

"Yeah sure I'll be over soon" I say.

We end the call and seeing as talking for us always becomes more I pack an overnight bag and head over to Escala, after typing the code into the garage and then again into the elevator I step out into the apartment where I'm surprised and flustered to see Christian waiting for me.

"Hello Anastasia I'm to tell you that Sawyer will be out soon he had to jump in for a quick shower" He says.

"Oh okay thank you Christian should I just head through into the staff quarters" I ask.

"I thought you could have a drink with me for a minute keep each other company" He says.

Since he's being so kind and hospitable I don't have the heart to say no, so nodding my head I follow him into the main apartment to the kitchen. He gestures for me to sit down on one of the stools and I do, He disappears for a minute then comes back with a bottle of white wine and grabs two glasses from the cupboard. He puts one in front of me and fills it up then does the same to his own, I take a sip and it's delicious Mr Grey has good taste in wine.

Christian runs his hand along the edges of the table and I shiver, the last time I was in here I gave in to him. I remember the feeling of his tongue inside me and I squirm as I feel my folds getting wet, he smirks at me and I know he's thinking the same.

"Miss Steele I remember the last time we were in this kitchen" He says.

"So do I Mr Grey" I say and bite my lip.

"Now if I remember rightly I had you sitting on this table with my tongue deep inside your folds" he says.

"That sounds right Mr Grey" I say.

"I want to do that again" He says.

I blush and hitching my skirt up I lift myself on the table showing him I want it to, he smirks and slides my panties down my legs and off. He lifts them to his nose and inhales my scent.

"Fuck you're wet already" He moans out.

I watch as he kneels between my wide open legs and taking the bottle of wine he pours some onto my folds, I gasp because it's chilled then I moan as I feel his tongue lapping it up. He keeps pouring and licking wine from my folds making me moan loudly, he puts the wine down and pushes his tongue inside me. I grip on to his hair holding him in place as licks me roughly out, I moan and move my hips as he circles my walls building me up higher. I cum moaning loudly my liquid filling his mouth, I pant and come down from my high as he fixes my skirt and panties back in to place.

"One of these days Miss Steele I am going to bend you over and fuck you into oblivion" He growls in my ear.

"Why not right now" I gasp back.

"Because Sawyer will be through soon to find out if you're here yet" He says.

I feel a pang of guilt and nod my head in agreement, it's just as well because as I slide of the table we hear footsteps coming towards us and Luke appears through the door. I put on a smile to greet him and try to push down the guilt I know we're only friends with benefits but it still feels like I'm betraying him somehow, he pulls me into a hug and I relax into my arms.

"Hi Luke" I say.

"Hi Anna" He says.

He thanks Christian for keeping me company and leads me back into the staff quarters, he stops in the living room and gestures for me to sit down on the couch. I sit down and he sits beside me sighing it's now I notice he looks stressed, like he's carrying the weight of the whole world on his shoulders.

"Luke is everything okay" I ask him.

"Anna I have something to tell you and I don't know how you'll take it" He says.

"It's okay Luke no matter what I'm here for you we're still best friends remember" I say.

"That's actually what I wanted to talk about I think it's time we went back to just being normal best friends without the benefits" He says.

"Oh this is a bit sudden what made you made the decision" I ask shocked.

"It's not as sudden as it seem, the distance this job has given me time to think clearly for the first time in a long time and I realised that although what we do is good to kill the pain and the loneliness it also puts our friendship at a lot of risk and we also shouldn't let our past hold us back, we need to find proper relationships and be normal again" He explains.

"You want to get back on the horse" I say understanding him.

"I think I'm already back on it" He says.

"What do you mean" I ask.

"Well when I went to Portland with Mr Grey at the weekend I signed up to a dating app and I found a match it so happened that she lives in Portland and we met up I think we may have something" He says.

Anxiety races through my body at the thought of being alone but I bite back the tears because I can't drag Luke down with me, so putting on a brave face I smile and hug him.

"I'm really happy for Luke I agree if you're ready to fall in love then you should keep seeing this girl I wish you luck" I say.

"Thank you Ana you have no idea how much that means to me" He says and hugs me back.

Since I brought a bag he shows me to a guest room to put it in and we decide to have a movie night with popcorn, he has to disappear a couple of times to help Christian with some things but he's mostly with me and I must admit it's nice to just sit in each others company and feel the natural friendship bond with him. As it starts to get late I dose on his shoulder and hear him chuckle as he notices, gently holding my head so I don't fall he stands up then lifts me bridal style into his arms. He carries me into the guest room next door to his and lays me down on the bed, he lifts the duvet over me and I fall into a peaceful slip.

I wake up later on that night feeling uncomfortable in my blouse and skirt, I stretch then slip out the bed to grab my bag. I rifle through it and grab the pair of pyjamas I packed, I strip off my day clothes and slip into the pyjamas. Then rubbing my eyes sleepily I walk to the bathroom and relieve my bladder, I go back to the guest room and crawl under the duvet again falling back asleep straight away.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Anna pov

It's been a couple of weeks since Luke and I went back to just being normal friends and I have to admit myself it's a lot better for us, I'm happy for Luke now that he's with someone and he's told me all about her. However I'm not ready for another relationship I mean of course I feel lonely and it would be nice to have the company again but my trust is just too damaged right now, I put on a smile and keep promising Luke that when work calms down and I'm not as busy I'll try meeting people. I haven't had any other encounters with Mr Grey which I'm partly happy partly sad about, I'm happy because I don't know how Luke will react to me wanting to fuck his boss and I'm sad because I do really want him even though a part of me feels Christian is hiding something and it's a dark something.

I sigh heavily as I rack my brains once more trying to figure out what a multimillionaire bachelor could be hiding, who am I kidding it's none of my business I don't need to know the deepest darkest secrets of Christian Grey. I shake my thoughts away and turn to my computer, _Okay Anna time to do some work. _I type out an email to one of my authors Boyce Fox asking him if he's made a start on his second book yet and if so can he send me a manuscript of what he has so far, his first book was a hit so now his readers want more from him. Since I'm on my emails I go through and email some of our other authors that are working on their next books for updates on their progress too, I start getting responses quickly including one from Boyce.

As I read through the attached manuscripts that they've all sent me someone knocks on my door, I call for them to enter and Hannah pops her head in. I smile at her in greeting and wave her further in, she comes and sits opposite me at the desk and slides a cup of coffee over to me.

"Thank you Hannah what would I do without you" I say and lifting the cup to my lips I take a grateful sip.

"You might not be saying that in a minute the board wants to have to have a meeting in an hour to see what new work our authors have been working on" She says.

"Well it is just as well I emailed them all and asked them to send me manuscripts of what they've done so far" I say.

"That's good the board will be happy to see that" She says.

"Yeah so far from what I've read they've all made a good start and have written a good few chapters including Boyce, if I send them all to print can you go and collect from the printer for me" I ask her and she nods.

She leaves the room so she can watch for the papers printing out, I print each manuscript out and wait patiently for Hannah to come back with them all. A few minutes later she appears and hands them to me, she tells me she's just at her desk if I need anything else then leaves me to prepare for the meeting. I look up at the clock to see I have just enough time to make some notes on each one before I have to show them to the board, I read through each one making any notes I find relevant and correcting any small mistakes to be fixed during the editing process. Thankfully there's very little corrections needed which also helps me even more with the board, I look up at the clock again when I'm finished and see it's time to head up so packing up everything I need I leave my office and after saying goodbye to Hannah I head towards the elevator.

I push the button for the top floor and it carries me up, I get out and head to the meeting room where I see other employees and board members arriving too. I follow everyone inside and we take our seats, I expect the meeting to start but it strangely doesn't and that's when I see there's an extra seat at the table. I wonder who else is coming to the meeting is there a new board member, my question is soon answered when Christian walks in. Jerry greets him then stands up to start the meeting explaining that the company owner Mr Grey is attending to see how everything is going.

We start the meeting by talking about new authors that they've been considering taking on, we discuss which ones would be best and which ones aren't. We finally agree on a small list of Authors that we're going to take on and Jerry gives me their email addresses so we can get their manuscripts, we then move on to the current authors and I show everyone the work they've written so far and my notes on them. They mostly agree with me and add a couple of notes of their own, they discuss some other things about the company and I look up to see Christians heated gaze on mine I bite my lip and squeeze my thighs together.

I look back to Jerry as he concludes the meeting and tells us all to keep up the good work, we all stand and start gathering our things to head back to our offices. As I turn towards the door I'm stopped by someone standing in front of me, I look for the second time into his steel grey eyes and feel myself heat up.

"Miss Steel I was wondering if I could have a meeting with you in your office before I leave to discuss your current authors" He says.

"Yes of course Mr Grey this way" I say.

He follows me down the corridor to the elevator and once inside I hit the button for my floor, an electric current surrounds the two of us and I struggle to keep my mind out of the gutter. He's your boss's boss's boss be professional, the elevator pings as the doors slide open and I lead him down into my office. Closing the door behind us I gesture for him to take a seat at my desk and I take my seat at my computer, for a minute we gaze at each other across the desk in silence then finally he breaks it.

"So Miss Steele I just wanted to let you know personally that I think the authors you're working with show true potential and you're doing really good work" He says.

"Thank you Mr Grey that means a lot to know that the owner of the company is pleased with the work we're doing here" I say.

"Not just the work with the authors but I seen today how you work with others, I like how you know how to stand up for your opinion but also accept others and work to come to an agreement with them" He says.

"Thank you Mr Grey" I say smiling.

"Now Anna I do have a more personal question for you now that we're alone" He says.

"Okay I'll try to answer it to the best of my ability" I say.

"Well Anna there's no way to ask this gently so I'll just throw it out there I want you to be my submissive" He says.

"Your what?" I ask.

"My submissive I want to enter an S&M relationship with you, You would stay at Escala in my guest bedroom every weekend" He says.

"Why are you all of a sudden asking me this" I ask.

"I've wanted to ask you for a long time Ana I'm a good judge of character and I sense that you are troubled you've been hurt badly by someone and you're afraid to let others in but you're also afraid of being alone in a submissive and dominant relationship you wouldn't have to worry about strings being attached but you would also always be able to come to me for care and reassurance" He explains.

The idea of it sounds inviting not having to worry about anything serious but also having someone to care for me as well, I chew my lip and ponder the idea for a minute before meeting his gaze again.

"Thank you for the offer Mr Grey and I hope you understand that for several reasons I cannot give you an answer straight away, first of all this is something that should be thought through not done on a whim. Second of all I still need to respect that you are my best friends boss and I would like to make sure he is comfortable with us being in any type of relationship and also the third reason it is very sudden and I'm a little surprised and blind sided by it I need to take the time to wrap my head around it" I say.

"Of course Anastasia I understand all these reasons and I expected them, I merely wanted to make the proposition today so you could start considering it, here's my email and mobile number so you can keep me informed on your decision after all this isn't really a conversation for an office call" He says.

"That's very true never know who's listening on the other end of a phone" I say.

"Indeed I look forward to hearing from you and bearing in mind that you don't have to rush the decision as there's a lot to discuss like rules and guidelines, I supply my submissive with a contract with all of these for you to read that should be used to help you decide" He says.

"Okay in that case I will talk to Luke first keeping the details to a minimal of course and if he is comfortable with it I will contact you to arrange another private meeting to discuss this contract" I say.

"Sounds like a plan Miss Steele and as a last note I'm afraid by the recommendation of my lawyer due to my high status you will need to sign a non disclosure agreement meaning you can't discuss anything we do together with anyone else of course you can tell them things that a normal couple would do but the S&M parts stay between us" He says.

"Yes of course Mr Grey I wouldn't tell anyone anyway I'm a believer in privacy and although close friends can pass that barrier I still believe sex life is between the couple doing it only" I say.

"Then we're off to a good start I'll leave you to your work and I look forward to hearing from you" He says.

We both stand from our seats and I walk him to the elevator again, this time I don't enter with him and we shake hands in goodbye before he goes inside and pushes the button for the ground floor. I go back to my office and sitting down at my desk draw in a few deep breaths. Did that really just happen did I just discuss the possibility of becoming the sex slave of the man who owns the company I work for and who also employs my best friend, I definitely need to talk to Luke first this isn't something I should just do. I need to make sure he is comfortable but I also need the advice of my best friend, taking my phone from my desk I send him a quick text asking if he will be available to have dinner with me tonight. He texts back saying he will be free but we'll need to stay at Escala in case Mr Grey needs him for anything, I reply telling him that's perfect as I want to talk to him about something private and need advice.

After putting my phone away again I fight to calm my nervous and thoughts, you still have half a day of work to get through so deep breaths and focus. I should worry about tonight when it's nearer the time, I sit up straight and begin reading through the manuscripts more clearly then I send responses to the Authors telling about the meeting and that the board is happy with their work so far. All thoughts of tonight are pushed from my mind as I focus on right now.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Ana pov.

The rest of the day has passed by agonizingly slow every minute has felt like an hour, I've tried to keep myself busy in the hopes to make it go by quicker to no avail, my mind keeps wandering to the conversation I had with Christian and what he's offering. Is it really a good idea will it really help me with everything I've gone through and to move past the trust issues that plague me, I don't know what I do know is I'm scared of the outcome if it doesn't what if I end up even worse than what I already am. I sigh heavily and put my head in my hands, I just don't know what to do anymore. Maybe the advice from Luke tonight will help.

I look up at the clock to see it's finally time to go so grabbing my bag I pack up my things and head towards the elevator, I don't even know if I have what it takes to be a submissive I mean I'm shy so I don't speak out very much but I can also be stubborn and defend myself. I bite my bottom lip in deep thought as the elevator descends to the bottom floor, my heels click on the floor as I head out to my car. I chose to wear a white shirt, black jacket and skirt today so I want to go home first to change into something a little less office like and more friend like. I get into Wanda my beetle and slide my heels off because I can't drive with them on, I join the traffic heading towards my apartment and sing along to the radio.

When I park up outside my door I quickly slide my heels back on and dash up the stairwell to my apartment, my feet regret that dash very quickly reminding me that stairs are the enemy for a girl in heels. I head straight into the bathroom where my laundry hamper sits in the corner and start to strip off the work clothes, I put everything in the hamper then turn and walk through to my bedroom naked. I rummage through my wardrobe looking for something to wear and I decide on a simple pink halter neck dress, I then go to my night stand and grab some fresh panties and a bra to wear before returning to the bathroom. Putting my hair in a bun I switch the shower on and step into the steaming hot water, I give my body a brisk freshening up and resisting the urge to relax and enjoy the water I step back out again.

I rub myself with the towel taking my time with this part to make sure I get everywhere dry to avoid skin irritation, once my skin is dry I start to pull the underwear and bra on wondering if I should bother with makeup or not. I blush thinking maybe I should in case I see Christian but then again I've never worn makeup and he liked me without it, after shimming into the dress and tying the halter I decide to leave the makeup. Standing at the sink I release my hair from the bun and gently start to brush it, I take my time being careful to get all the knots out of it but also to avoid making it go static. After sliding on a pink pair of heels I'm ready to go after one last look in the mirror just to double check.

I head to the apartment elevator this time and wait patiently for it to take me to the bottom floor, wouldn't want my heel to slip on the stairs. Once again I slide the heels off once inside the car so it's easier for me to drive, as I get closer to Escala I start to become nervous again. What if Luke freaks out at the idea of Christian and I having some sort of relationship together, what if Christian makes my trust worse. Shit this is so overwhelming I feel like I'm underwater inches away from the surface and air but just can't quite get my head above the water to breathe, I take some breaths to calm myself as I pull into the buildings underground garage. Just take it one step at a time and see how things play out.

First step talk to Luke and get advice on the idea he'll be able to clear things up, I take my seat belt off and get out of the car. I step into the elevator and punch in the code for the penthouse feeling that familiar drop in my stomach as I'm carried up, I'm surprised to see Taylor waiting for me when the doors open.

"Hello Taylor how have you been" I ask stepping out.

"I've been well Miss Steele thank you and yourself?" He asks.

"I've been good thank you" I say.

"I'll take you to Luke Miss" He says.

Turning he heads through the doors to the staff quarters and I follow him, he leads me into the kitchen where we find Luke preparing dinner. I thank him and he disappears back to the main apartment, I hug Luke and immediately feel better about the situation.

"So what are we eating" I ask.

"Spaghetti Bolognese" He says.

"It smells so good" I say.

"It's just about ready want to grab us some white wine" He says.

"Sure" I say.

I grab two glasses from the cupboard and then go on the hunt for a bottle of wine, by the time I come back Luke is plating everything up so I quickly fill our glasses and put them on the table. We sit beside each other and eat in a comfortable silence for the first few minutes, then finally I break it.

"So how are things going with your girlfriend" I ask him.

"Really well we have so much in common and can talk for hours I really have a good feeling about this" He says.

"Good I'm really happy for you Luke really I am" I say.

"Anyone caught your attention" He asks.

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about Christian came to my office today" I begin.

"Okay isn't that normal since he owns it" He asks smiling.

"Ha ha very funny Luke he asked to see me alone so I took him to my office and he offered me something" I say.

"What did he offer" Luke asks.

"He thinks he can help me with my trust issues and be able to move on" I say.

"This help he's offering does it involve sex" He asks.

"Possibly I just I know he's your boss and I didn't want to make you uncomfortable plus I'm not sure if it's a good idea" I say.

"Well I mean I would prefer a proper relationship for you instead of something like what we were but at the same time it's your choice it's what ever you feel is right with you and if you think you should try whatever help Christian can give then you have my blessing but Ana you don't need my permission as long as it doesn't affect my job I don't mind" He says.

"Thank you Luke that really helps" I say smiling.

"Good I'm glad we should get cleaning up before Gail kills us" He says.

I giggle and standing up I help Luke clean the kitchen up so Mrs Jones Christians house keeper won't have to do it I know she gets pretty busy, after cleaning we sit down and start watching a movie together but it doesn't last long as Taylor enters the room.

"Sorry to interrupt you both but Luke Mr Grey would like us to escort him somewhere it will only take a few minutes Mr Grey says Ana can make herself at home and in the main apartment if she wishes" He says.

"Will you be okay" Luke asks me.

"Of course go I'll see you soon" I say smiling.

He smiles back and I watch as he follows Taylor out the room, I stay where I am and watch the end of the movie alone. They're still not back when the credits roll up so after switching it off I decide to accept Christians offer and go to explore his apartment, it's very modern and large with a kitchen I could get lost in. I smile as I find a library and scan some of the shelves managing to find a few of my favourites, Mrs Jones is nowhere to be seen so I decide to sneak upstairs to explore what's up there too. Unsurprisingly it's mostly guest bedrooms they're all stunning and follow the same colour scheme to match the rest of the house, I open another door however and this time I notice that the wall looks red. I flip the light switch and feel the colour drain from my face as I look around the room, it's deep red like the colour of a womb and the smell of leather and citrus floats in the air. Around the room are various sex tools, whips, crops, ropes cuffs. It's a room for BDSM this is what he wants to do with me.

I've heard about this stuff but never really paid attention to it, it's not something I've wanted to try before. Yet now I'm standing here with the decision of whether to try it or not, I suddenly feel very overwhelmed again and I turn and run from the room. I run all the way down the stairs not caring that I'm wearing heels and I don't stop until I'm in the living room of the staff area again, I grab my things and run to the foyer calling for the elevator, I can't stay here I can't see Christian after seeing all that not right now. I need time to process and think about what I just saw so with that last thought I sprint to Wanda and getting in drive towards home.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Christian pov.

I walk into the elevator and it carry's us back into the apartment where Ana awaits, I'm hoping to see her for a bit tonight after Sawyer falls asleep but I don't know if it will happen. The elevator opens and Sawyer heads back to the staff quarters and I go to my office to fill out some paper work, a few minutes later he knocks on the door and I call for him to come in.

"Luke do you need something" I ask.

"I was looking for Ana I thought maybe she would be in here with you she's disappeared" He explains.

"No I haven't seen her in the main apartment but I'll have a look around if you keep looking in the staff quarters" I say and stand up.

I search the main apartment on the lower floor and then even though I doubt she would go up here I head up the stairs to the upper floor, I follow the hallway down until I reach my playroom and it halts my steps when I realise the door is open. I walk in smelling the usual smell of leather, wood and the cleaning products Mrs Jones uses. However there's a new smell added in strawberry's, I recognise it instantly it's Ana's shampoo I smelt it when we've had our little passionate moments.

Shit she's been in here which means she knows about my life style, fuck she's probably freaking out about this I wonder if Sawyer can get in contact with her find out where she is. I turn and run back down the stairs and straight through the door into the staff quarters where I find Sawyer still searching the rooms for her.

"She's not here she's gone we've looked everywhere" I say.

"Why would she just leave like that there's no note no text no reason to say" He says dragging his hands through his hair with worry.

"Maybe she started feeling unwell and just wanted to go home and rest so she forgot to let us know" I say.

He can't know about the room it's my own private business plus he would never let me near Ana and wouldn't listen when I explain that I don't plan to take Ana in there or use any of that stuff on her yet, I meant what I said I want to help her come out of her shelf to trust again, to not be ashamed of herself anymore and take pride in herself again. She needs to eat and look after herself which I can tell she isn't doing then maybe after that we can start experimenting a little more.

"Maybe that is a possibility I'll give her a text just to check in and see if she's okay then I'll call her tomorrow she might just need some space or something" He says and I agree.

We say goodnight and I head back to my office to finish my paper work, I can tell this is going to be one long ass night. After the paper work I put on some pyjama pants and crawl into bed to try and get some sleep, like always I'm plagued by nightmares so I end up getting up and sitting at my piano and playing a few prelude's.

Ana pov.

I stay in my apartment avoiding Luke and Christian, I reply to a text telling Luke that I'm okay but that's it. The room I found in Christians apartment has really freaked me out and I can't face going back there, what if he plans to hurt me or something even though he promised to help me trust again. I sigh and curl up on the couch under the pink blanket I'm wrapped in, I just don't know what to do a part of me says to at least give him a chance to explain it but at the same time I'm too freaked out to look him in the eye. I can't avoid him forever though I'll need to face him eventually, my phone pings with another message from Luke and when I read it I go a bit pale. It says he's got a few hours and he's coming over to see me because he's worried, shit he'll want to know why I disappeared the other night and I don't know what to tell him.

I sit there on the couch wandering what to tell him and how to explain to him why I've been a bit MIA for the last couple of days but I come up blank, the sound of the door breaks me from my thoughts and I let him in. The minute he enters he pulls me into a hug and holds me tightly in his arms, I let myself relax feeling safe for a few seconds, after a minute he pulls away and leads me to the couch sitting down.

"Hey sweetie talk to me why did you take off the other night Christian and I have been worried sick about you" He asks.

"I know I'm sorry I just felt that I needed to be away from everything in the comfort of my own home" I say quickly hoping for the best.

"Did you feel unwell or something" He asks still a bit confused.

"Yes that's it I felt really sick and just wanted to come home and sleep in my own space" I say.

"Alright Christian did suggest that he's been asking if you're okay a lot I think he wants to know what's happening between you guys if you want to take him up on his helpful offer" He says.

"Oh um can you tell him I'm focusing on getting better then I'll take some time to think about it I'll come over when I'm ready to talk about it" I say.

"Of course I'll pass on the message when I get home" He says.

"Thank you Luke" I smile at him.

"So you sound a little down is there anything you want to talk about" He asks.

"No I'm okay just still recovering a little bit is all" I say putting on a smile.

"Okay sweetie if you say so I won't push you to tell me Ana" He says making me sigh in relief.

"I have the night off wanna watch a movie" He asks.

"Okay that sounds nice pick one" I say smiling.

He smiles and scans the movie collection before picking one for us to watch together, he sets it up then snuggles on the couch with me as it starts. Despite everything that's happened I'm glad we're normal friends again I missed just doing this with him, we're like brother and sister again like friends should be. I let myself relax against him and halfway through the movie I start to dose to sleep in his arms, he gently lifts me and carries me to my bedroom and tucks me into bed then he heads into the spare room and sleeps in there.

As I let myself start to fall asleep I realise I didn't ask him how he's getting on with his girlfriend, I make a mental note to ask him tomorrow because I want things to go well and I'm really happy for him. I let myself finally drift into sleep feeling more peaceful than what I did earlier, maybe I'll speak to Christian after all and let him explain what that room is all about. It could be just a miss understanding.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Ana pov.

I brush my hair trying to bring it under control so it doesn't look frizzy, I'm failing miserably however and I quickly give up. My stomach is full of nervous butterflies because I'm getting ready to go to Christian's apartment, I realised I couldn't avoid him forever so I've agreed to join him for dinner and give him the chance to explain the room upstairs. I hear the sound of a car outside and I go to look out the window to see Taylor outside, gathering my bag and coat I lock the flat up and head downstairs where Taylor opens the back car door for me.

"Thank you Taylor" I say smiling in greeting.

"You're welcome Miss Steele" He says.

I get in the back seat of the car and put my belt on while Taylor gets in the front and starts the engine, I watch the busy Seattle seats as we pass them by on our way to Christian's. The drive is short because the traffic is surprisingly light despite the busy streets, Taylor turns into the parking garage after entering the code and parks in one of Christian's spaces. He comes round and opens the back door for me and I climb out, I follow him into the elevator and he enters the code for the penthouse. My nervous are getting worse and I focus on breathing deeply as the elevator carries us up, the doors ping open and Taylor opens the foyer doors into the living room.

Christian stands from where he is sitting on the couch and walks over to greet me, I put on a friendly smile trying to act normal but in truth my inner goddess is on her knees begging me to still give this a shot no matter what he says about the room upstairs.

"Anastasia I'm glad you came to have dinner and talk with me" He says.

"Hi Christian I hope we can clear things up and finally be on the same page about our intention" I say.

"I hope so too" He says and gestures for me to follow him into the kitchen where we sit at the breakfast bar.

Mrs Jones his housekeeper serves us some white wine and I take a grateful sip hoping it will help my nervous a bit, the smell of beef Wellington makes my mouth water as Mrs Jones puts our plates down in front of us. I give her a grateful smile and she returns it before disappearing into the staff quarters to give us some privacy, I wonder for a moment if she knows about the room and if she does did she tell Luke and Taylor. I dismiss the thought quickly because Luke would have told me about it since he knew I was considering a sexual relationship with him. Christian cuts a slice of meat off and pops it in his mouth, I watch him chew and then swallow before he finally speaks.

"I know it's a scary and intimidating room to find especially when you're not prepared for it, I'm sorry you had to find it the way you did" He says.

"Were you ever going to tell me about it" I ask him.

"Yes of course I waiting for the right time when you trusted me a little more and I would never take you in there unless you wanted to" He explains.

"What exactly are your intentions with me Christian are you really going to help me or are you just another guy who wants to use me as a sex slave" My tone is biting and I glare suspiciously at him.

"No of course not Ana I wasn't even touch you yet" He says with a calm voice not effected by my bite.

"Then what were you going to do" I ask confused.

"If we were to do this we would start slow I would be your friend first I would listen when you talk, rant, yell and even scream. I'll be your shoulder to cry on until there's no tears left to come out, I'll stay by your side no matter what, help you face and conquer your first fears. I'll help your confidence grow so you take care yourself again and see that not everyone will hurt you and you can trust people" He says.

I stare at him with my mouth open as if to speak but I can't think of a thing to say, he stares back at me patiently waiting to see if I'll say something. When I can't think of a reply after a few minutes he continues.

"Only and only after you have regained your confidence, trust and love yourself will I take you bed and I will treat you like a queen pleasuring and loving every inch of you because you deserve all the love in the world I will only take you to my playroom when you're ready and ask me too" He finishes and waits for me to respond.

"Christian" I manage to gasp out.

"Give yourself to wrap your head round all that it was a lot to take in" He says.

I do as he says and take a minute to think about everything he's just said, my heart tries swell at how romantic it was but the heartbreak I've gone through and the scared part of me convinces me that it's all lies and he's just trying to trick me.

"How can I believe you any other girl would swoon but I just can't believe it or trust you" I say tears brimming my eyes.

"Ana baby it's okay please just give me the chance to prove to you that you can trust me, if I fuck up in any way you can kick my ass out your life but please give me a chance and I promise I won't fuck up" He says.

I nod because it's the only thing I can do as the tears flow down my cheeks, he rises from his bar stool and gently lifts me into a cradle and carries me to the living room. He sits down on the couch with my in his arms and holds me close to him as I sob into his neck, he whispers soothing words in my ears but he isn't trying to stop me instead he encourages me to let everything out and not to bottle it up anymore. He sits there with me patiently reassuring me he's right there and he's not going anywhere, eventually after what feels like forever I've cried my eyes dry and I lay quietly trembling in his arms.

He gently strokes my hair still whispering soothing words to me, it helps me calm down and a strange feeling of safety and security washes over me. The trembling slowly subsides and I find myself dosing into sleep, he stands up and carries me through the apartment into a bedroom then into the adjoining bathroom where he sits me down on the toilet seat. I look up and watch him leave the room again only to return again a few seconds later with a shirt.

"Here baby girl you can wear this to bed" He says handing it to me.

"Thank you Christian" I say taking the shirt.

He leaves the room again giving me privacy to change and I start to strip off, I look at myself in the mirror and I wonder why he hasn't ran a mile. I look a mess with blood shot eyes and puffy cheeks from the crying, I slide his shirt on and his scent surrounds me I lift the shirt to my nose and inhale feeling soothed by it. I button the shirt up then leave the room to find him sitting on the bed waiting for me, as soon as he sees me opening the bathroom door he stands and pulls the bed cover back. Then he comes over and scoops me up in a cradle again so suddenly that I squeal, he chuckles and lays me in the bed tucking me in like a baby.

"Sleep beautiful I'll join you in a minute I just need to put my own pyjamas on" He says.

He disappears into the bathroom with a pair of pyjama pants, I close my eyes feeling exhausted and start into sleep. The last thing I remember before sleep takes me is Christian spooning me and turning the out the bedside light.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Ana pov.

I wake up the next morning still wrapped in Christian's arms, true to his word he hasn't touched me sexually all night just held me. I lay there on the bed surprisingly relaxed in his arms and I feel safer than I have in years, however it feels too good to be true what makes this relationship so different from others. Everyone knows the drill right it starts out perfectly you get along well and he seems like prince charming then just when you let your guard down with him he breaks your heart, so what makes Christian any different from all those other guys who just end up hurting you.

I try to wriggle out of his arms the feeling of safety leaving me, however I don't manage to be as subtle as I'd hoped and Christian wakes up. His arm tightens around me and pulls me back into his chest, I stiffen more as he kisses my cheek in greeting and turns me around to face him then frowns as he sees my face.

"Ana what's wrong did you sleep okay?" He asks me.

"Yes I slept fine thank you Christian" I respond.

"Then why so stiff and guarded?" He asks.

I look away from him unable to hold his stare hoping he won't figure it out, of course he sees right through me and knows what's wrong.

"Let me guess your heart is telling you how dangerous it is too trust to me and is trying to convince you that I'm no different from the other guys who broke your heart" He says.

I nod sheepishly and I feel his hands gently stroking my hair, he moves his finger down my cheek to under my chin and gently tilts it up so our eyes meet.

"It's alright it's only our first day together it will take time to prove myself to you but I know in time you will trust me and once you do I will never break that trust" He says.

His eyes are full of determination but also love and softness, a glimmer of hope rises in my chest but I push it down. I said I would try this but I shouldn't hope or trust yet he needs to prove himself to me first like he said, he kisses my head and gets up out of bed gesturing for me to stay there. He leaves the bedroom and I watch the door with a puzzled look waiting for him to return, a few minutes pass and the smell of bacon and eggs floats into the room. My mouth waters and my stomach grumbles for the delicious smell, Christian finally appears holding a breakfast tray with two plates, two glasses of fresh orange juice and two cups with steam coming from them.

He sits down with the tray on the bed and I look at it, this is the first time I've really been hungry in a while. I usually just have small meals to keep me going. Christian looks at me expectantly and I take a sip of the juice first, he's not satisfied and keeps watching me so I cut off a corner of bacon and eat it. He nods in approval and start to eat his own, I pick at the food my stomach torn between hunger but also feeling a bit queasy from having a proper meal.

"Ana please eat it's time to start taking care of yourself" He says.

"I know I just feel a bit queasy" I say.

"It's normal I promise it'll pass with time as you eat more proper meals and get used to it again" He explains.

I know he's right so I cut off some more bacon and eat it, my stomach grumbles again in both complaint and appreciation. I fight through the nausea and finish off the bacon then start on the egg, I take small sips of juice to help wash it down and keep the feeling of sickness at bay. It helps a bit and I manage to clear my plate of food, I finish the fresh juice and look at Christian to see a smile of approval of his face.

"Good work baby now you can enjoy your tea I asked Luke how you liked it and passed the information on to my house keeper Mrs Jones she's the one who made all this today for us" He says.

"Mrs Jones is a very good cook I'll have to remember to pass my compliments on to her" I say.

"I'm sure she'll like that very much" He says.

I smile and lift the cup from the tray and take a sip, it's weak exactly how I like it and I hum with appreciation. Christian smiles happy that he got it right and I take another grateful sip before smiling back, the hot drink is helping to calm my stomach down and the sickness feeling is fading away. Christian finishes his own orange juice and starts to drink his coffee, I've never really liked coffee always preferred tea more.

"I would like to spend the day with you as I don't have to work would you like to stay" He asks.

"Yes that would be nice" I say.

"I'm glad I plan to take care of you today and show you how amazing love can be again" He says.

"Thank you" I say.

"Will you stay with me next weekend as well" He asks.

"Depends how this week goes" I say.

"Okay I can understand that" He says.

"What are we doing today" I ask.

"Have you ever been in a helicopter" He asks me.

"No I've never really thought about it" I say.

"Well I own one and I think I'm going to take you for a ride in it today" He says.

"Really" A twinge of excitement goes through me.

"Yes really go get dressed baby we leave in an hour" He says.

I smile and finishing the rest of my tea I get out of bed and head towards the bathroom with my clothes, I start the shower and adjust the temperature to how I like it. Then I strip off my clothes and get in careful not to slip, as I wash I think back over the past couple of hours and the things Christian has told me could he really be telling the truth could he be the one guy that won't hurt me.

I finish my shower and dry myself off before getting dressed, I finish the rest of the things I need to do to get myself ready and leave the bathroom. Christian is dressed and waiting for me having showered in one of the bathrooms upstairs, I can't stop my smile when I realise he's done this to respect my boundaries. He turns towards me and smiles at me, I smile back shyly and walk towards him.

"Ready to go" He asks.

"Yes as ready as I'll ever be" I say.

"Good let's go then" He says.

I follow him out of the apartment and into the elevator, I watch as he types in a code when the doors close it looks different than the one for the garage. I look at him puzzled when I feel the elevator starting to go up instead of down, He sees the look on my face and chuckles.

"We're going to the roof where the helicopter is parked" He says.

"Oh I thought it would be at an airfield or something" I say.

"No there's a helipad on the roof I keep it there" He explains.

"Okay that's more handy I suppose" I say shyly.

He smiles at me and the ping of the elevator announces our arrival on the roof, the doors slide open and I see a white helicopter sitting in the middle of the helipad. Christian walks towards it and I follow him looking around, I can't see anyone else around I wonder where the pilot is. Christian opens the door and helps me get in then starts on the buckles and straps pulling them tight, I watch him curiously and when he's done he goes round the other side and gets in the pilot's side buckling himself in.

"You're flying this" I ask.

"Yeah I've got my pilot license had it for years this is Charlie Tango hope you enjoy flying in him" He says.

His grin is infectious and he starts flipping switches to boot it up, the sound of the engine is loud and I giggle as it makes me jump. Christian does a couple of security checks then starts to speaks to someone over the radio asking if he's clear for take off, they respond giving us the all clear and he gently starts to rise into the air. I look out the window as we climb higher into the sky leaving Seattle below us, when he gets high enough Christian guides the plane forward and I'm surprised by how smooth it is. We glide over Seattle and the view is breathtakingly beautiful, I notice that once we're out of Seattle instead of turning back Christian keeps going and I wonder where he's taking us. I keep my eyes peeled out of the window for any sign of where we're going, as morning turns to afternoon I notice building coming into view and focus on them for clues as to where we are.

"Christian are we in Portland" I ask him.

"Yes I booked a table for lunch at a restaurant it has a helipad on the roof of course" He says.

Soon we're flying over Portland and I feel strange being back here, it feels like it's been years since I lived here when it actually hasn't been that long. Christian starts to slow the helicopter down and I notice he's heading to a roof, that must be where we're landing for lunch, I watch him carefully as he keeps everything in control and brings us down in a smooth landing. I can't help but be impressed and swoon a little bit, this is definitely the most romantic date I've ever been on and we haven't even had lunch yet I can't wait to see what he has planned next.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Ana pov.

Christian helps me unstrap from the seat and then he tells me to wait a minute, he gets out of the helicopter and comes around to my side opening the door. He offers me his hand and I take it blushing a little bit as I climb out, we duck down and make a dash for the elevator to get out of the chilly air. The doors close behind us and Christian presses the button for the 3rd floor, my stomach does that sinking feeling when the elevator starts to descend. Despite my insecurities there's a tension in the elevator that makes me blush more and bite my lip, thankfully the doors open relieving the tension a little bit. I feel his fingers taking hold of mine and he leads me out the elevator into the restaurant and to a table, a small reserved sign along with a couple of menus are placed in middle.

I sit on one of the chairs and Christian sits opposite me and smiles, he hands me one of the menus and frowning I look inside. I skim the items on it trying to find something small to eat because I'm still getting used to taking care of myself, I decide on a bowl of soup and put my menu down nit bothering to look at drinks because Christian knows more about wine than I do.

"So what are you ordering" He asks me.

"Uhm I'm just going to have a bowl of soup" I say knowing he's not going to let it slide.

"Ana you need to eat more than that please" He says giving me a stern look.

"Christian I'm really not that hungry" I try to protest.

Before our conversation can go any further a waitress approaches our table, the minute she sees Christian she bats her eyelashes at him. I resist the urge to roll my eyes as she's all over Christian not even hiding the fact that she's flirting with him, shit am I jealous why am I jealous. She pulls out a pen and notepad and asks what we're ordering completely ignoring me, Christian orders a bottle of fancy sounding champagne and then to my horror orders two chicken pasta dishes for us both.

"Christian I'm not that hungry honest" I say once the waitress has walked away.

"Ana sweetie I promised to help you heal and help you start taking care of yourself and eating falls under that so please try to eat" He says.

I sigh deeply in frustration even though deep down apart of me knows he's right, we stare each other down in a battle of wills but his eyes are intense and I look away biting my lip. We sit in silence until the waitress returns with our champagne and carefully pops the cork off, she fills each of our glasses and I'm annoyed to see her eyeing Christian again. She finishes filling our glasses and leaving the bottle on the table she disappears again.

"I think our waitress likes you" I say.

"Miss Steele do I hear a hint of jealousy" He asks smirking.

"Not at all why would I be jealous" I say trying to brush it off.

He doesn't answer but instead smirks more making me blush bright red, the tension in the air is returning making my body heat up but our food arriving is a welcome distraction. Even though I complained about what he ordered for me I start to eat it just to stay in silence for a minute or two, I finally look up from my food to see Christian smirking at me victoriously. I roll my eyes at him making his narrow with a warning in them, damn every time I think I have my attraction under control he does or says something to set my fire on body again.

"How's your food Anastasia" He asks me.

"It's good" I say.

"Good it's nice to see you eating Luke told me you don't eat much I hope to change that" He says.

"And so far it's working Mr Grey" I say huffing a bit.

"And I get to see that cute pout of yours" He says.

I huff more making him chuckle and we continue eating until we've both finished our meal, I turn down his offer for dessert and he asks for the bill. His eyes never leave mine even though the waitress is still trying to get his attention anyway she can which makes me grin like an idiot at him, he stands from the table and offers his hand to me so we can walk back to the elevator together all the while the grin stays on my face.

"What ever you're on can I have some" He asks chuckling.

I giggle and blush but don't answer the question as we enter the elevator and begin rising back to the helipad where the helicopter awaits us, Christian once again helps me get strapped in to my seat and I sit there watching him flipping switches and pressing buttons to get us ready for flight. The feeling of rising into the air makes me beam brighter and I giggle as we start to move through the blue sky, before I know it we're landing on Escala and it's time to get out I feel a little sad because I was really enjoying the ride and Pilot Christian is kind of hot. We take the elevator to Christian's apartment and we're greeted by Luke in the foyer, I can't resist going over and giving him a hug in greeting.

He chuckles lightly and hugs me back before releasing me, he wishes us a good evening and I follow Christian to the living room where we sit down facing each other. I slide off the high heels and tuck my feet under me getting comfortable, I gaze into his eyes feeling my heart stutter and I look away hoping he won't see how I'm starting to feel for him. I can't let it in I can't be hurt again I won't survive it this time.

"So Miss Steele what shall we do now" He says.

"I don't know Mr Grey" I reply.

"I have an idea there's something I would like to show you" He says and stands.

I take his offered hand feeling a little bit confused as he leads me through the apartment and through a door into a dark room, he switches the light on and the first thing I see is a billiard table in the middle and some lounge couches nearby it. As I let my eyes scan the rest of the room I discover it's huge and it's filled with endless bookshelves, he has his own library with every book I've ever heard of in it. I could get lost in here for years and never get even half way through the volumes here, I skim the shelves running my fingers along the spines of the books. I feel myself falling in love with this room and never want to leave.

"Christian this is amazing" I say wandering around.

"I thought you might like it" I can hear the smile in his smile in his voice.

I feel his eyes following me around as I go around the whole room until finally coming back to the billiard table, I look at Christian with a mischievous look and pick a cue.

"Fancy a game Mr Grey" I say.

"You can play" He asks.

"Yeah a friend taught me a few years ago I think we should have a wager Mr Grey" I say.

"Oh really Miss Steele and what would you propose" He asks smirking.

"If I win you take me to bed" I say.

"And if I win" He asks.

"Then I'll let you help me and I'll try my hardest to get better and let you in I'll try for more" I say.

"You will" He says and I see his eyes fill his eyes with hope.

"Yes just please don't break my heart" I say.

"I never will that's a promise I will never break" He says.

"Well then Mr Grey lets play some billiards" I say giggling.

We work together to set everything up and bending over the table I hit the white into the others to break, the balls spread apart and a solid goes into a pocket oh this is going to be fun...


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Ana pov.

I smirk at Christian as I lean over the table and take my shot potting yet another ball, I pot two more after that and then miss the third as it bounces of the corner. I stand upright again and look to Christian so he can take his shot, he steps forward and scans the table carefully trying to decide what the best move is. I admire the view as he leans over the table and takes his shot potting a strip with ease, he pots two more and misses the third like I did making me smirk and step up for my own shot.

"I must say I'm very impressed Miss Steele" He says to me.

"Why thank you Mr Grey I think this might be a close one you're very impressive yourself" I say and lean over the table.

"Although I must say I'm more impressed by this view" He says behind me.

He's enjoying this so much because he likes staring at my ass, I blush a little bit and take my shot missing completely. I realise then that he's doing this on purpose he's trying to distract me so I won't pot and lose, well Grey two can play at that game you want to play dirty I can play dirty too. I step away making room for him to take his shot and I watch carefully, when he leans over the table to take his shot I lean over on the opposite side of the table so he gets a view of my cleavage. His eyes lift to my chest as he takes the shot and also misses widely making me smirk, He stands upright again and sighs heavily.

"Alright Miss Steele you've made your point no more cheating from either of us otherwise we'll be here all night" He says smirking.

"Yes that's very true we would be" I agree.

I lean over the table and take my shot potting a ball this time, I pot several more and so does Christian. We're neck and neck each one of us just as good as the other one at this game, finally we're down to the last ball the black and it's my shot. This is my chance to win and get what I want so taking a deep breath I lean over the table and lining it up hit the ball, it rolls towards the pocket and slides in but the white follows it.

"Shit" I giggle.

He chuckles and comes over to me as I stand upright again, he takes our cues and puts them away again before coming back to me. I stand still feeling a little frightened at what he's going to do next since I promised to try and let him in if he won, he stands in front of me and his eyes meet mine trapping my gaze. Bright blue to dark Grey but it's not intense or intimidating, instead his eyes are soft and full of love which shocks me. I've never been looked at that way before is that more proof that he won't hurt me because he's the only one that's truly looked at me with love in his eyes, in that moment he makes all my fear disappear and an overwhelming feeling of safety and trust blooms in my heart making me gasp a little bit. I know in this moment as we gaze into each others eyes that I will keep my word and I will try just for him, I will let him earn my trust and my heart because I feel like he really cares about me and that he loves me.

My eyes must tell him how I feel because a smile spreads across his face and he gently cups my cheeks, He leans down and presses a soft kiss on my lips setting my whole body alive with buzzing. I could travelling throughout my whole body I was letting my emotions back in instead of feeling numb all the time. I feel happiness spreading all through me and I happily welcome it instead of pushing it back out, Christian's right it's time to stop being the way I am I need to open up and become the old Ana again.

I beam at him and taking his hand I lead him through the apartment towards his bedroom and push him towards the bed so he falls on it, he looks at me confused but I just smile and climb on the bed beside him. I lie down and snuggle into his chest closing my eyes wanting to feel closer to the feeling of safety that he's giving me, he wraps his arms around me and holds me close to him making my smile grow even wider if possible. I know this still won't be easy I'll still get scared and the walls will keep trying to build themselves again, I just have to remember this moment and remember that as long as I'm with Christian he won't hurt me and I'll be safe.

A few days later

I'm sitting at my desk looking over some manuscripts when I hear a knock on the door, I call for the person to come in and the door opens revealing Christian. My face breaks out into a shit eating grin and I stand up to greet him as he closes the door, I bound into his arms and hug him tight making him chuckle and wrap his arms around me. I bury my face in his neck and sigh deeply happy that he's here, I've missed him all day while I've been here and can't stop my thoughts from straying to him as I work. Over the past few days I've been really trying to open myself up to Christian and even though we haven't done anything sexual with each other yet as we're taking things slow it's been the most intimate few days of my life, we release each other and I gaze into his eyes and smile up at him.

"Hello beautiful I thought I would keep you company for lunch" He says.

"I could use the company thank you for joining me Mr Grey" I say and go over to couch.

I sit down on it and grab my lunch from my bag as Christian sits beside me with his own lunch, we start to eat and sip on our coffee and cup of tea. Christian isn't like anything I expected he really surprised me, he loves to sit down and eat together while having a conversation and getting to know each other more. I'm still in a little bit of denial on my feelings for him because it scares me how fast they're developing especially after all the hurt I've been through, I'm scared to admit it but I think I'm falling for Christian Grey and I don't know if I can get the courage to tell him. For now I just enjoy our lunch together before he has to leave to get back to Grey house.

"So will I see you tonight Miss Steele" He asks me.

"I would like that yes" I say smiling.

"I'll pick you up tonight then and we can go for dinner together" He says.

"Well I know Mrs Jones is there but can I cook for you that's something we've never done before" I say.

"Well if that's what you want to do then I would love to taste your cooking baby" He says smirking.

I beam at him and reach on tiptoe to kiss his cheek making his smirk bigger, I blush seeing the look in his eyes and giggle. He runs his finger along my cheek in a sign of affection that makes me go weak at the knees, I tried to fight it but he turns me to jelly every time he's near making it impossible for me not to fall for him.

We say goodbye and I walk him walk to the elevator then go to the window to watch him getting in the car, I keep watching until he drives away and is out of sight before I finally go back to my desk and start the rest of my work. I keep glancing at the clock every now and again as I work and smile when I see it's getting closer to finishing time, finally it's time to go so I switch off my computer and gather my things. I head along to the elevator and take it down to the ground floor saying goodbye to everyone as I walk by, I walk out the front door to find Christian waiting for me leaning against the hood of his Audi R8. I smile as I walk towards him and place a kiss on his lips which he returns before opening the car door for me, I get in and put my belt on while he walks around the other side and gets in.

"Mrs Jones asked me to tell you that everything you need is in the pantry, fridge and cupboard" He says.

"Okay sounds good to me I can't wait" I say.

"How was the rest of your day" He asks.

"It was good I missed you" I say.

"Well well Miss Steele finally opening up are we I missed you too" He says smiling brightly.

I giggle as he starts the drive back to Escala and I enjoy the view of him, I bite my lip nervously because as I was lying in bed last night I couldn't help but remember that we haven't been intimate together yet and I wondered when we would both be ready. I know that I would like to show my feelings for him more but are we ready to go all the way do I trust him enough, I continue to bite my lip as I contemplate my thoughts. I guess we'll just have to see how tonight goes...


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Christian pov.

I drive into Escalas underground garage and park in one of the spaces I own, Ana unbuckles her seatbelt and we both get out of the car. I steal glances at her as we walk to the elevator and enter it, I tap the code into the keypad and feel us glide up to the penthouse. _I wonder if she would stay with me tonight maybe I should ask her she seems to have enjoyed staying with me so far, _I steal another glance at her and think about how beautiful she is. My intentions towards Ana were never harmful I wanted to show her that not every man was going to hurt her, I wanted her to know that not every encounter with a man has to end in heartbreak. However I did not intend to fall in love with her and feel as strongly as I do now for her, I sigh heavily wondering how I can tell her how I feel because I'm not sure she'll trust me enough to be with me like that.

The elevator doors slide open and we enter my apartment together heading towards the kitchen where Ana opens the pantry and starts scanning all the food that's in there, I sit down on the barstool watching her patiently as she disappears into the pantry. I take my phone out and scan my work emails, I quickly type up replies to the important ones and leave the rest for tomorrow. I slip my phone back into my pocket and look up in time to see Ana emerge from the pantry, she's carrying a couple of steaks and a bag of veggies. I watch her move gracefully around my kitchen as she starts to work on the food, I find that I can't take my eyes off of her and she seems to fit very well here this feels almost normal like we've been doing it for years. I watch her cook until there's only a few minutes left until the food is ready then I stand up from my stool, I grab two place mats and some cutlery for us and place them neatly on the breakfast bar. I have a large dining room with a table but I rarely use it since it's normally just me that's here for dinner, once our places are set I get out a bottle of sweet white wine and pour some into two glasses.

Next I get out two plates and place them on the worktop beside her, she smiles and thanks me before carefully plating the food up. Once she's finished she puts the pots she used in the sink and taking out plates we go to the breakfast bar and sit down on our seats. I watch Ana carefully as she eats and she's doing a lot better she seems to be enjoying meals more, she slows down a bit about half way through the meal but she keeps going and manages to clear her plate. I feel a swell of pride as I look at her clean plate and she smiles weakly at me, I get off the stool and take our plates over to the sink then go back to her. I wrap my arm around her back and kiss her head.

"Well done with the meal I'm proud of you slowly but surely you're managing to see that taking care of yourself is important and good" I say and smile at her.

"Thank you Christian you've been a lot of help and you've showed me I need to live my life and stop being so worried" She says.

"You're welcome Ana but it's not just about taking care of yourself it's about trusting other people again especially men don't give up on love Ana" I say trying to see her reaction.

She goes a little bit pale and doesn't answer but I can see she's gone into deep thought, I don't say anything more but take a sip of my wine and wait patiently not wanting to push her. She seems to take a deep breath before finally speaking.

"I don't know if I'll ever be ready for love again Christian I've been hurt too many times and I just don't know if I can trust anyone again" She says.

"Well you've trusted me so far and I haven't left you yet" I say.

"That's different we aren't together Christian we're friends" She says.

"Ana you know our feelings are more than friends you're just afraid to admit it you think I'll hurt and leave you like the others did but I won't I really care for you Ana and I'm not going anywhere" I say.

"Christian I'm sorry I just can't I'm flattered that you feel that way about me but it just can't work" She says.

Before I can say anything else she suddenly stands and runs up the stairs to the second floor, I remember I gave her a tour of the apartment when we first met so I assume she's going to the spare bedroom I showed her to have some space. I sigh heavily and head towards my bedroom closing the door, I drag my hand through my hair in frustration and head towards the ensuite bathroom stripping as I go. I turn the shower on and step under the hot water sighing as it feels like it's washing all the bad things away, I think about what just happened with Ana maybe it was too soon maybe I shouldn't have said anything maybe it was too soon.

Ana pov.

I rush to the spare room and close the door behind me before crawling on to the bed, I curl up into a bed and think about what just happened and how I reacted. I feel a twang of guilt that it went like that he probably thinks I don't feel the same about him now, I know I feel the same about him how could I not fall for him when he's been so good to me but everyone always leaves me how can I trust that he won't do the same. Tears well in my eyes as I think about what to do about this situation, I know that I should put my fears aside and give him a chance but I'm just too afraid but I do owe it to him to talk about it instead of freaking out and running off on him.

I wipe away my tears and sit up on the edge of the bed, I take a deep breath and stand up heading to the bedroom door. I follow the hallway to the staircase and descend to the lower floor, I pad barefoot to Christian's bedroom door and knock on it waiting for an answer. After a minute I don't hear a reply so I slowly push the door open and peak inside, I look around the room and don't see Christian anywhere so I slip inside. I go further into the room and I notice an open doorway, I move towards it without thinking and peak inside to see a very naked Christian switching the shower on and going inside the cubicle.

I'm about to turn away to give him some privacy when he to the side giving me a good view of his member, everything below my waist heats up as I see how big he is and I can't tear my eyes away from him. I force myself to look away and exit the room because I don't want to get caught watching him and I don't want to invade his privacy, I go back upstairs to the spare bedroom to wait for a few minutes then I'll go back down to see if he's out the shower. I lay down on the bed and can't help but wonder what it would feel like to have him inside of me, I feel myself getting hot again and I spread my legs and let my hand wander down.

I start to rub circles on my clit thinking of Christian and his member, I moan as my folds starts to get wet and move my hand down to slide a finger inside. I ease my finger in and out moaning loudly forgetting about my surroundings for a minute, I move my finger faster rubbing my inner wall and moaning louder as I feel myself starting to build. I move my hips and moan loud as I start to cum on my fingers, I moan one more time as I start to come down from my high and pant heavily. I blush deeply when I remember where I am and realise how loud I was moaning, I say a silent prayer that Christian is still in the shower and didn't hear me.

I steady my breathing and fix my clothes before climbing off the bed, I go into the bathroom and check myself over in an attempt to make myself look presentable. Satisfied I go to the bedroom door and slip in to the hallway, I can hear a faint sound of music coming from downstairs so I follow the sound of it to the living room. Christian is sitting at his piano gently pressing the keys with his fingers listening intently, I stand in the shadows for a minute listening to the sweet melody he is playing. After a few minutes I approach the piano making myself known and I sit beside him.

"I'm sorry about earlier I shouldn't have freaked out the way I did you were just trying to be honest with me" I say.

"It's okay Ana I understand how you feel it's scary trying to love again when you've been hurt by someone but I'm not like them Ana I won't hurt you I promise" He says.

"I know and because you were honest with me I'll admit I do feel the same way about you Christian how could I not fall for you when you've treated me with so much tenderness and kindness" I say.

"We can take things slow Ana all I ask is that we try you can set the pace everything will be in your control" He says.

I smile at him feeling a little better now that we've talked, I go quiet for a little while enjoying the sound of him playing the piano. Finally after thinking for a while I make my decision and turn to him.

"Okay I will give it a go but I can't promise this will be easy Christian I won't trust quickly" I say.

"I know you won't Ana and I'll be patient with you and show you that you can trust me" He says.

He stops playing and takes my hand in his while his other hand slowly strokes my cheek, I smile at him and he lowers his lips to mine so we share a brief kiss. He pulls away before it gets to passionate so I don't feel rushed, we spend the rest of the evening talking and laying down together which feels nice and safe. I don't know if this is going to work or if I'll be able to open myself up to trust him but I'm willing to try because I feel a lot for him.


End file.
